Before we know it, June is already midway through, leaving less than a month until my term at school ends, until summer. And normally that would be the highlight of my year, except this time it's mixed with a tinge of sorrow and sadness, and whilst I'm more than looking forward to finally being able to take a break, I can't help but wish time would slow down.
I think a part of me will always wonder about the things this transition will cost me. I'm not graduating from the school that's been, despite all the good and bad, my second home for thirteen of my sixteen years, and will never once again join into the laughter and the conversations as easily as I still can at the moment. There will be things that I'll no longer be able to understand, to participate in, and the flow of life will continue despite it all. This will be the results of the choice I made, a choice that will alter my life. After everything that I've been wondering about these past months, I think I've come to this conclusion: rather than change, I fear more the consequences of change. I keep on wondering how my life back home will look the next time I'm back in spite of it being just a few short months that, consequentially, also seem so long. So much can be utterly transformed in just a while. Would things change? Would people change? And yet I'm more than eager to discover what there is in store for me through my upcoming new chapter of life, and can't help but secretly wish there was a fast-forward button somewhere for me to already enjoy the moments in Victoria.
Life is full of lessons. This will be one of the hardest ones that I'll have to figure out by my own. Maybe someday I'll look back on this and see it as a breeze, or still find bits of 'what ifs' in my mind, but yet I know my time at UWC will be a lifelong journey that will bring fond memories and broaden my horizon, opening up my eyes to the world.
That being said: my dreams are coming true before my very eyes. I'm finally getting an escape from the hectic life I lead here, and getting the change of scenery I've been longing for. I'm finally receiving an outlet for self-expression, getting to know people from all walks of life, to have pieces of the world within a single community, to study in a multicultural and diverse environment that will inspire me to think intellectually and from a variety of perspectives. And to think all this is happening at the very place I've yearned to be at for 2 years. To think that my imaginary life is to be actualised . To think that I'll finally get to see for myself what the place I've only ever seen through pictures looks like.
Counting down every day, nostalgia mixed with more excitement. I can't wait.
Signing off,
Lena